When I was in my early
twenties I was always trying to understand what my messy life was about. My biggest problem was in my
relationships. I was never treated with
love and respect. It hurt and made me
angry but I was scared to be real about it.
Authenticity totally eluded me.
I kept having epiphanies that felt life changing. I’d be absolutely sure I had found the answer
to whatever was bothering me at the time.
I would think my problems were over.
I’d soon realize that they weren’t.
Nothing would have changed in my relationships.
Then I had a different kind of Aha! Moment. I realised that my mind was quite fast to
figure things out but my ability to actually change was a lot slower. I’d sometimes watch myself being so nice and
accommodating and I think this isn’t me. But I didn’t know how to be me, didn’t know
where to start.
I felt starved of something inside me – starved of love. I
grew up believing that knowing the answers in an intellectual way is enough to
make a difference to your life. Culturally we do seem to be in this phase of
making a kind of god out of the thinking brain.
The Age of Information. But it’s
more like Information Overload. Information on its own is almost like a drug,
it makes you high and believe everything has change.
But it hasn’t. Information
is an important part of being able to change, but really it’s just the first
step. Much more important is being able
to experience real unconditional love from friends or community or a
mentor. The kind of love that repairs
entitlement and self esteem and teaches us to value ourselves. And to develop self love and confidence so we
can be real.
Imagine an age where the experience of love and the right
to be real in relationships was valued the way we value information.
