Monday, August 5, 2013

MugabeGod




Long ago I was warm, charming and generous. Passionate about justice. I led my country to freedom from the worst kind of tyrany. Everybody believed I was the good guy. Time and time again you voted me in. We had the world at our feet and everything going for us.

Over time I surrounded myself with friends who wouldn’t challenge me. I do it even more now. I pay their bills, I buy them nice things, I give them land and important positions. I institute new laws which give me total control. I do what I want. I have the power. I can make up laws and I can break them as I want. If you challenge me I can kill you, throw you in jail, destroy your life. I can hurt you as much as I want, until you learn your lesson. Don't challenge Me. I am MugabeGod.

I can lie, cheat and steal, blame the consequences of my own stupidity on others; I can meddle with lives, destroy property, destroy an economy, create starvation, empty shelves in stores. Then deny that I did it. What are you going to do? Nothing. You have no power. I have it all.

I can do whatever I want with your money and your property. I can do what I want with this whole country. What’s anybody going to do about it? Nobody can touch me. Of course I could step down and let somebody else fix the mess I’ve made but why should I? I like pushing people around. I like the power, it makes me feel big. What are you going to do? Tell me I can't? Start a new party? Write indignant articles in the press? I will just shut you down.

I know how to intimidate you. I know how to kick up so much dust that reality is obscured. I know how to make your life a nightmare. I can do whatever I want. To those who are blind to my evil ways I'm charming, and disarming. They believe me. Because I have power over them. I capitalize on their innate decency. Because I can. I don't give a damn about the truth. I lie when I feel like it. I break the law if I feel like it. If you break my law I’ll break your neck. What are you going to do about it? I'm MugabeGod. I can do what I want. I always have. You can't stop me. I'm the one with the power. You want some of this power? How’re you going to get it? I can rig elections.

But in the dark hours before dawn, I live in terror. Terror that I'm hated, that my enemies are growing in number, that my control is slipping away from me, that my power and money can't keep my soul-consuming paranoia at bay. 

I loathe the sycophants who live like parasites off me and compromise themselves despicably so that I'll keep them in power. Disgusting slugs. Even though they're doing what I demand of them I hate them. I'm fully aware that if they had  any courage they'd admit that they despise me. They might even kill me. They think I don’t know that but I do. 

I see everything. Every glance between conspirators, every whispered conversation. I know they encourage me in my evil ways to increase my dependency on them. I know they are waiting for their chance.

I withdraw further and further into myself, trusting nobody, afraid of everybody, my body being eaten up by cancer, my mind slipping away from me into darkness, as my paranoia grows like a rank tumor in my brain. In the dark hours before dawn I can't keep my terrors at bay. Because no matter what I say to the contrary I know I am a murderer and a thief. I know that I’m evil. I know that I have betrayed and cruelly destroyed innocent people. I know I have single handedly ravaged my beautiful country, the country I so passionately fought to free from injustice. I know that my enemies are getting stronger. And I am getting weaker.

In the dark hours before dawn I know I am condemned and that my punishment is coming and all the power in the world cannot save me. No place to run. No place to hide.

I am a hunted man.