Friday, July 20, 2012

What About Me? For Great Relationships, Be Who You Want To Meet

Many of us have never been really important enough to anybody.  Nobody took us seriously enough as children and we learned from that that we didn’t deserve attention, or love and respect.  We believed our needs weren’t important so we didn’t pay attention to them any more than anyone else did.  So we ended up in relationships with partners who treated us the way we treated ourselves.

We thought the answer was to understand our partners better, even though it never brought results.  We’ve all at some point tried the same things over and over again, believing that avoiding ourselves but understanding our partners should be enough for us to change.  Who said stupidity is doing the same thing and hoping for a different outcome?   It’s true, although I hate that word stupidity.

We’re not stupid, we’re brave and heroic for never giving up and always looking for answers.  But how long can that cry of "what about me?" reverberate through our whole being day after day before we really decide we've had enough?  The answers to our problems in relationships don’t lie in understanding our partners.  Let them understand themselves!  We need to know more about us.  

We have the right to answer our own cry, so we can be real in our relationship with us first.  So we can get that love and respect we deserve – from us!  It’s all about facing our own vulnerability and letting ourselves acknowledge that we’re just as important as anybody else on the planet.  And it’s about taking responsibility for what we need instead of dismissing ourselves.

“Be who you want to meet” doesn’t mean “be as nice to everybody else as you want them to be to you”.   It means "be as nice nice to yourself as you want them to be to you."

To read a sample of or buy my ebook Make The Connection: And What About Me? on how to be real love and be loved and be the boss of your own life, Click here or go to or Barnes & Noble Nook 

If you have a relationship or life problem, leave a comment.  I'll reply.  I'd love to help.