Hollywood, Playing It Safe, Heroes & Heroines

Hollywood. Who can ever understand what motivates decision makers in their choices of scripts to pump money into? Lots of people think they’ve nailed a formula for success, most notably those who teach scriptwriting and sell their services as script editors. It’s a huge industry. They all claim they know what makes producers choose your script. They gloss over the truth that ‘producers’ come in all shapes and sizes. Some of them think they know the formula for success and they reckon the other guy doesn't. The other guy - oh, I don't need to finish this sentence, do I?

The script teachers and editors also rarely agree with each other. It’s confusing if you’re new at the game or don’t have a mind of your own and can’t figure out that self-styled authorities’ true skill lies in milking your insecurity.

They need you to believe your writing is full of imperfections and that you’ll never succeed without their very special advice. I entered a high profile script competition last year and didn’t make the short list but within days of being told so I got an email from a guy who’s a co-partner or something or other in the company, telling me, congratulations! You’ve won a discount on an advice session.

I called him up. He was a nice guy; I enjoyed talking to him. Then he said he could help me with my script and tighten it up so that agents and producers would be more likely to look at it. I said how do you know anybody will like the version your advice has led to? IMO, I continued, getting noticed is less about a perfect script and more about gutzpah; getting out there so people know you exist. Not backing down or giving up when you don’t win a competition or somebody says no thanks.

Or says it more rudely; it’s not unheard of for a big fish in a little pond who doesn’t like your work to tell you you’ll never make it in the industry. Pretty much everybody who’s succeeded in the world in any discipline has been fed that line some time or another. And we all know who’s the one left with the regrets.

My fella seemed to be smiling when he admitted he couldn’t guarantee that his advice would further me in any way.  Ha! The pleasures of having a mind of your own.

All of this is not to say that I don’t care about the quality of my scripts. I do. But that’s just for me. I’m under no illusion that it’ll be the primary factor in my success. So I turned down the generous offer, which amounted to R2500 for an hour. Of advice that might or might not be of any use to me. But my money would have been of a lot of use to that fella.

Some of the teachers etc. really do understand story-telling and can boast of many ‘students’ who have achieved a lot of success. But whether that success came directly and solely from their teaching or not, who can say?

Here’s the reality: Sometimes there’s a massive difference between a good script and one that will attract a producer, or between a brilliant director and one whose work will garner Academy Awards. Take Martin Scorsese. He’s widely acknowledged as the most influential filmmaker in the history of Hollywood but he’s only won one Oscar. And Boyhood, nominated for a best screenplay Oscar this year, deserves a column on its own, not all of it gushing praise.

But sometimes a quality script does attract producers – I’m thinking The King’s Speech - and awards and great directors do get Oscars for their work. Robert Zemeckis won in 1994 for Forrest Gump and beat Quentin Tarantino (Pulp Fiction). That was a good decision!

There’s just no predictable formula in Hollywood, because producers come in all shapes and sizes and are as subject to whim as those who determine what or who should win an award.

I reckon the best way to get the most out of everything as a screenwriter is to write as much quality as you can and enjoy yourself when doing it, then fight like the devil to find producers who’ll throw money at you, and find ways to enjoy that fight as well. Because if you write to please producers you’ve never met, based on somebody else’s opinion of what those producers want when they’ve never met them either… It’s gambling on rather long odds. And the worst part of it is how horrible the whole experience is.

Scripts are all about heroes and heroines so if you’re writing about them I figure you might as well be one yourself. Heroes and heroines do their own thing and everything they can to forge a path to success, facing fears, dealing with insecurity and with all the demons and harsh realities that are part of the landscape of not playing it safe. They don’t strive to adapt. They strive to conquer.

'Unbroken', Oscars,Golf, Egos, Presidents and Things

What a competitive world. Shows like Keeping Up With The Joneses – uh, that Kardashian 'show', if you can call it that; Idols, X Factor, America’s Got Talent, outpicturing of Simon Cowell’s massive ego. Shows that have drawn furious criticism from greats like Elton John who said Cowell has destroyed the integrity of the music industry and who refused to be a judge on Idols because he wouldn’t descend to slagging performers. Shows that have convinced musicians the world over that if you don't win, your life and your [potential] performing career are over. Elton John said of Cowell’s empire that it’s “become boring, a***- paralysingly brain crippling.”

Politicians slaughtering each other in broad daylight at election time for, in too many cases, the coveted positions of not representing those they’re supposed to represent. The altered universe of brain washing aka advertising, making it impossible to go anywhere without some message, if not a gazillion of them, coming at you saying we're better, we're the best.

People will go to extreme lengths to compete. Like Angelina Jolie noticeably abandoning sexy outfits and power dressing [down] conservatively as she campaigns for the Oscars for her movie Unbroken and does her best to try and convince Hollywood and the Queen of England world that she’s not a drama queen but a serious filmmaker as in writer, director and producer and that Unbroken is a work of genius that didn’t deserve to be passed over for Golden Globe and Screen Actors’ Guild awards. Well, it did get a SAG nomination for its stunt ensemble and it opened on Christmas Day and grossed $15.6 million, which is the 3rd highest Christmas Day opening figure - if you don’t adjust for inflation, which no doubt Unbroken’s producer would rather we didn’t.

 

But that’s just good marketing and the big name Angeline Jolie (who, ironically, has always seduced the world with her sensuality) and a fantastic trailer. It was brilliantly executed; I watched it over and over and each time I got goose bumps and my heart felt fit to explode.

I wondered, though, whether they hadn’t just extracted the only worthy scenes in the whole film and strung them together cleverly. It seems my suspicions might have been founded. Rotten Tomatoes already gives the film a measly 51% rating and the general consensus among those who are unhappy with the film is that it crawls and somehow never quite comes to life. The famous and mightily well paid Cohen brothers adapted the script from the [alleged] 300 page monstrosity that was written from the book by William Nicholson and Richard LaGravenese. It just goes to show something or other. My green-eyed monster jealousy more than anything else, probably.

I’m straying from my point. Your own bitchiness will do that to you. My point is that it’s hard to get away from competitiveness at all levels of life. I mean look at me, wanting to compete with Angelina Jolie and the Cohen brothers. I’d love to have got my hands on that script.

Actually, the other side of my coin is that I think the spirit of it is great, I like it; I love the rough and tumble of engaging in life, aiming for the stars and doing everything you can to get as far as you can. Good for Jolie for being smart enough to know what an effect her fashion statement makes on the world and for holding her head up high despite the awards snubs and going for gold.

Still, that rough and tumble tends to make the world one of chaos and din so it’s beautiful when somebody who has every reason to have an inflated ego just doesn’t. Have one, I mean. But does have a great sense of humor.

American Presidents love to play golf. If they’re any good at it, they let everybody know their scores. If they’re not so good, like Clinton, they claim Presidential Pardons for mulligans and gimmes, all in good fun of course. But Barack Obama sticks to the rules. He’s a pretty lousy golfer, which he readily and laughingly admits. Retired basketball great Michael Jordan, who’s crazy about golf, quipped that he wouldn’t choose Obama for his ideal foursome because “he’s a hack, man. It’d be all day playing with him.”

Obama was quick to quip back. He’ll do it with a straight face so you can’t tell if he’s joking or not. Until he breaks out into that million dollar smile. He isn’t a good golfer; he’s got lousy posture, for one, but he loves the game, so he plays. With a sense of humor about himself. IMO there’s a whole lot of dignity in that and I’m sure it makes him fun to be around. And he is getting better, so that’s something. Another golfer said of him that the way he plays gives the measure of him as a President. He’s honest, he keeps his cool through rank adversity, he smiles and he doesn’t give up. I raise my glass to that.

And to Angelina Jolie, good luck with the Oscars. She has spirit in spades, that’s for sure, for which she deserves the highest accolades.